Sometimes it feels like I’m
Swimming up rivers of time to get better
If I could just float upstream
I could just live in that dream and feel better

But memories only hold for so long
And soon I’m rushing back out to confront the future
It’s deep and dark and rocky and steep
And I just can’t believe that it could ever be better

My vision becoming so small
My hoping the darkness will all wash over
Sleepless in a hotel bed
The heat of my burning head turning over

It was then I first felt the anxiety hit
Hit like a brick and I still today feel the ripples
The sadness carved into my soul that night
It took me down with it so long I thought joy was over

I used to be someone who knew
his head wasn’t solidly glued to his body
It took me til thirty to see
The brain can suffer disease like the body

But I’m treating it now with love and time
Carefully twisting the knobs to bring forth the goodness
Finding my hope in the gradual climb
Knowing I’m more than the pieces within my body

Sometimes it feels like I’m
Swimming up rivers of time to get better
If I could just float upstream
I could just live in that dream and feel better

But the past will always be there for me
Decades of happiness built up the world around me
So I cast off my fear and swim downstream
Knowing my future might be just a little bit better